


Actor Cipher

by heyitsraichan



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Actors, Alternate Universe - Actors, Attempt at Humor, Based on a Tumblr Post, Bill Cipher does what he wants, Bill Cipher is a Jerk, Bill and Dipper as cousins, Bill is a Pines, Complete, Dipper and Mabel are Seventeen, Gen, Gravity Falls References, He redeems himself promise, Here I go typing random stuff at the tags again, Human Bill Cipher, Humor, I can't wait to upload more content, Not Romance, Older Pines Twins, Random - Freeform, bill cipher just being sexy and knows it, but nah, cross-dressing, idk anymore, sorry bill you're no jerk, this was supposed to be over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-17 02:56:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8127710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyitsraichan/pseuds/heyitsraichan
Summary: “I’m still single. ‘Coz there’s this one girl. I saw her at a meeting with the fans a few months back. I didn’t get to ask her name, because of all the commotion, people swarming in to the building. I’ve only seen her once but I…I’m in love with her.”"...No one can stop you from doing what you want…”“Yep, no one can stop me from doing what I want. So let’s break some fan girl hearts, shall we?”





	1. "Victory"

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I could imagine Bill doing as a human. Based on a tumblr post which I can't find again, but now I know who posted it: @olgg. XD Thank you for indirectly, unwittingly inspiring me to write this drabble to somehow get out of writer's block.
> 
> Stan here is divorced. I don't know how many times, but he's single now. Ford has a blonde lady for a waifu. Just piece those together, I don't wanna ruin the story anymore than that. HAHA.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victory, thought Bill as he and Dipper were driving home.

“Bill, how does it feel to be dubbed as ‘the hottest villain of the year’ because of the last movie you starred on?”

“You have to admit, I looked hot in that get-up, with the eye patch and everything…like a classy pirate or something,” he pointed out to the reporter who asked.

Everyone in the audience laughed, even his co-stars laughed. So did Bill.

“It’s all thanks to the costume designers. Well, to answer your question, though I don’t like antagonizing these amazing people in real life,” he gestured to his co-stars, who nodded. “It feels great, actually. Thank you, whoever that is who started calling me that. It means that I have executed my role well. It makes me very proud,” he flashed a sincere smile to the audience.

Dipper had to disagree though. Bill likes antagonizing people, himself and his twin sister Mabel in particular. Little did everyone know, that his cousin Bill was a real prankster. One of his co-stars told the reporters that Bill liked a good laugh and pranks them on set sometimes. So in a way, Dipper’s thought was voiced out. He made a mental note to thank the guy later.

Another question was shot to his ever-handsome and famous cousin while he was lost in his thoughts.

“Mr. Cipher, you’ve got a lot of fans, and I think they would agree with me that they’d like to know,” there was a pause before she continued. “How’s your love life?”

There was total silence from the audience. Anticipation can be seen on all of their faces. The whole room stopped breathing, waiting for an answer.

Dipper saw for a moment a shimmer in Bill’s eyes and the grin he always wore when he’s up to something. But his expression quickly changed into that of a lost person’s. 

“I’m still single. ‘Coz there’s this one girl. I saw her at a meeting with the fans a few months back. I didn’t get to ask her name, because of all the commotion, people swarming in to the building. I’ve only seen her once but I…” He paused, looked down at his hands, as if thinking of what to say next. 

But of course Dipper already knew before Bill even opened his mouth to say it.

“I’m in love with her.”

Dipper slaps a hand to his forehead.  _ _Stupid Bill.__

There was shock in the silence. Seconds later, the bubble of silence bursts and the noise broke out. They all settled down, reporters and fans alike, when told to be quiet. It took a few ‘shhh’s and ‘calm down’s before another question was given but this time not to Bill.

Dipper could hear an imaginary Bill in his mind saying,  _ _Feed the flame. Feed the flame…__ Because indeed, he was feeding the flame of rumors. After this press conference, there’d be some kind of  _ _Make-Bill-Cipher-meet-his-true-love__  kind of thing on the internet that will be made by his fans. He could bet on it.

 

 

 

 _ _Victory,__ thought Bill. 

Everyone wasn’t ready to get home yet, but Bill and his cousin need to. Pines family dinners are not to be missed, especially when Uncle Stan was visiting from his work in Columbia. He and Dipper were inside the moving car now, the driver in front adjusting the volume of the stereo. They were listening to classical.

“That was a joke, wasn’t it? What you said to that reporter about your love life?”

“Maybe, maybe not, who knows?” Bill shrugged, but he can’t hide the grin on his face.

Dipper knew the answer, but of course, Dipper always had to ask.  _ _Typical Dipper,__  Bill said to himself.

“Uncle Ford will kill you for getting yourself unnecessary attention.”

“Uncle Shermie will kill  _ _you__ for not looking after me and preventing that from happening.”

Dipper fell silent, thought for a moment and muttered, “They’d still side with me that no one can stop you from doing what you want…”

He winked at him, Dipper just rolled his eyes. 

“Yep, no one can stop me from doing what I want. So let’s break some fan girl hearts, shall we?” 

 


	2. "Why am I doing this again?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why am I doing this again?" Dipper asked as Mabel was trying what-ifs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY AM I DOING THIS AGAIN? XD HAHA, well, because of my single commenter, Anatrisha (thanks, internet person). She gave me an idea, and said idea cannot just hangout in my brain and let me not write it. Here we are, an update! Just so you guys know, I've decided to make this only three chapters long. After that, no more. XD Amsorry.

“Why am I doing this again?” Dipper said. He was forced to wear a royal blue sheath dress  and flesh-colored stockings by Mabel. Her excuse? She was trying out what if’s. 

“What if you were in a dress? What would you look like, Dip? Would you be pretty? I hope not prettier than me…”

She went all out for it actually. She bought the dress, the stockings, also a pair of light blue doll shoes and a long wig, with almost the same shade of brown Dipper’s hair was. He was actually flattered that his sister knew even his shoes size, it meant she cared. Only, he’d never thought she’d ever use her knowledge for this. But what’s new with Mabel, right? 

She had him wear nail polish. Dipper said no when she insisted on a cringe-worthy, glittery, pink one. She and Dipper were firm on their decisions so they compromised. There’s clear nail polish on each of Dipper’s, newly clipped and buffed, fingers. She also slapped on some make-up on him. 

He looked at his reflection in the full-body mirror they had inside their room. This wasn’t what he expected. This was somehow better than he had imagined. Mabel made him look like a decent young girl the same age as he is. She had him wear a gold necklace with a little shooting star pendant hanging near the center of his chest. He realized he looked exactly like Mabel, just without the curves and the breasts.

She was behind him now, admiring her work. “You are a masterpiece, dear brother! My greatest one yet! But something’s missing…”

Before Mabel could say what was missing, Dipper knew already what it was . “No, I refuse to have fake boobs. I don’t want itchy stuffing on my chest!”

Mabel let out a groan of disappointment. “No fun, bro-bro. Can’t you just do it for the sake of art?”

A sound interrupted Dipper’s struggle from Mabel’s insistence. It was a loud, almost attention-seeking, knock, and the twins already knew who it was. “Bill,” they said in unison, although Mabel said it in a much cheerier tone than Dipper. The door opens and reveals a yellow-clad Bill Pines. He was bright, and not in a good way; the sight of him hurts the eyes, especially on this warm and sunny day. Bill always liked wearing yellow, it was his favorite color. 

“Well, what do we have here? Pine tree, I didn’t know you were into cross-dressing!” There he is again with the pet names. He was happy with the nickname ‘Dipper,’ thank you.

“Hello to you too, Bill.”

“I bet this was your idea, my Shooting Star Mabel because it can’t obviously be Dipper’s. He’s no fun,” he whispered the last part to Mabel. But Dipper could still hear it. The three of them were less than a foot away from each other, of course he could hear!

“Hey, I am fun! I can be fun to be with!” Dipper protested, but Bill kept an amused look.

“I’d have to disagree with you on this one, Bill. Dipper can be fun to be with,” his sister smiled at him, so he smiled back.

“So, what do you think, Bill? Isn’t he pretty?”

“I was expecting a really awkward-looking Dipper-in-drag, to be honest. Not that I don’t think you are brilliant Shooting Star, no offense.”

“None taken. I put on some make-up on him just to even out his skin tone and make him less sweaty and added a little blush to his cheeks!”

“He looks good in a blue dress.”

“I picked it out because I remembered that blue trucker hat Uncle Stan gave him that he always wore.”

“He is pretty, but not as pretty as you, Mabel. Nice job!”

“Thanks.” They high-fived.

“Wait, what does he mean ‘expecting?’”Dipper asked. “Does that mean this was yours and Bill’s plan?!”

Mabel smiled guiltily and Bill winked at him. Dipper sighed. What’s new with the both of them, right?

In the short time that they were talking, Dipper felt like he was melting. It was because of the attention and the stares the they were giving him. It was like they were taking in every detail of him with their eyes.

“He’s getting flustered, aaaaw bro-bro!” Mabel hugged him, making him feel a little bit better, but still awkward. “So cute!”

“It’s like you were born for cross-dressing, Pine tree.”

“Shut up, Cipher!”

“Nope, at home, I am Bill Pines, your beloved, handsome cousin.”

“This isn’t your house…”

“He didn’t want to have boobs, though.”

“What?! Even just a little?”

“NO! I am fine without it, thank you. Can I change into a more comfortable get-up now Mabel?”

There was a click and a flash of light. It was Mabel with her camera on hand. 

“Stop snapping pictures! Mabel!”

Despite her brother’s protests, she continued snapping away. “For documentation purposes!” She said. “This moment should be preserved for future generations to see!”

Bill silently took some pictures of Dipper on his phone too.

Mabel called the whole household to see her creation. Luckily, the rest of the family did not take any pictures. Still, Dipper felt like he’d be grateful to a god if he suddenly died right then and there. 

 

 

 

 

There was indeed a search for “Cipher’s girl,” as they called her, on the internet. A thread was made on Reddit a few hours after the press conference. There were also a lot of conversations going on and hashtags being used on the popular networking sites. It’s been two months after that. Bill was actually checking the updates on those hashtags and threads. And when his and Mabel’s plan with Dipper went well, this prank is going to the next level.

 

 

 

 

“What are you doing?”

“Making a fake account on Reddit.”

“What for? I thought you were not really in to social networking?”

“Nope, just to post the picture of you in a cute dress.”

“WHAT?! NOOOO.”

“What? I’m proud of my cousin! He’s beautiful and can do both ways, who doesn’t want that?”

“No please! My sanity! My dignity!”

“Aaaaand posted!”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Apologies and Normalcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yes, that’s her. You found her.”  
> “Great! Another death threat to brighten up my day. How wonderful.”  
> Who knew that’s what Bill only wanted. No wonder he was showy and loud.  
> “Don’t worry about me, loves, I’m always ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Notice me senpai!" 
> 
> Hi again people! Here's my third and final update to this story. Thank you for the kudos. :) I was planning to post this 14 October, Philippine Standard Time, actually. But I checked in and found that there are 37 kudos now, so I said "Hey, why not post it three days early?" I never expected to get that many in...was it less than a week that I have posted the last update? //no sense of time anymore XD Thank you for reading this, I really hope you enjoyed Actor Cipher. Yes, I suck at titles sometimes. HAHA. If you have some stuff you want to talk about to me, feel free to leave a message or something. I like getting messages. :)

Someone with the name L.Cinder posted on the Reddit thread a picture of a young girl in a blue dress, at the age of eighteen, same age as Bill. The president of one Bill Cipher fan club emailed the actor the picture. Cipher replied, “Yes, that’s her. You found her.”

There was an uproar on all social networking sites after that. Every Cipher fan wanted to know who she was. She was the owner of the account L.Cinder, but it was her friends that posted her picture using her account. She received many messages from other fans, both good and bad. Mostly bad. Threats to her life and security are a concern now. Luckily, no one knew her exact current location. All everyone knew was that she’s American and, based on her skin color, is somewhere warm and sunny.

Then there was a leak of the person’s phone number on Monday.

Dipper received texts every morning from crazy Cipher fans after that. It was amazing they haven’t found him already after the leak. They could use a tracker on phone numbers, right? He hoped that they don’t get that kind of idea.

 

 

 

 

“Great! Another death threat to brighten up my day. How wonderful.”

Dipper is getting annoyed by this now. As it seems, the fans are not getting tired of threatening this mystery girl Bill has created for them to believe. He thought it would just subside after three days but it’s been two weeks and they’re not stopping. The fans are telling him to just go and show up to Bill, to at least give him a chance to see __her__ again. Some were threatening __her__ life, out of jealousy maybe, Dipper isn’t exactly sure. Though he knows that there is little to no way that these threats are going to happen, he still feels scared.

“Stop being paranoid, Dippin’-dots,” his sister tells him. “We’re here for you.” But he can’t help it! When there’s a perceived threat, this was the natural reaction. He sleeps not too deeply…actually, he doesn’t sleep at all. He just lies in his bed all night, listening to the sounds outside their house. He carries around both pepper spray and something sharp, at least some scissors, whenever he goes somewhere. He doesn’t buy food from outside anymore. Mabel was alarmed when Dipper didn’t show up for their Foodie-Friday tradition. He can’t do anything normal anymore and he can’t stand it! This needs to stop but he doesn’t know how to stop it. Mabel has been apologizing profusely on the day they found out about the leak. The first anonymous text was sent an hour after it.

“I didn’t know it would go this far! I’m sorry, Dip…” She cried in front of him while apologizing. Dipper hugged her, assuring her that it wasn’t her fault, that he forgave her, until they both fell asleep.

It wasn’t Mabel’s fault, in Dipper’s mind, but his __handsome__ cousin Bill’s…the cousin with a __bloated__ ego, who thinks he can play with other people’s lives just because…

“...he now has a higher social standing than us!”

Everyone in the cafe gave him startled looks. He didn’t realize he was talking out loud. He bowed his head to hide his embarrassed blush. He knew he shouldn’t have gone with Mabel today to the cafe...He still wasn’t himself. But she dragged him‒literally dragged him‒out of the house. He feels as if his right arm could fall off if any more tugging was given to it. Mabel just can’t allow him to sulk though. It’s summer break! He should unwind and stuff…

“...and ignore those funny texts! They’re not meant for you! They’re meant for a non-existent person.”

“But‒but what if everyone finds out that the girl was…well, not a girl but me?! I can’t show my face in public anymore after that!”

“If you’re so worried, then let’s change your number, change your phone, like, right now!”

“No, my contacts list and… there are…important stuff here.”

“Like your bookmarks of red-heads and stuff like that?”

“I‒not necessarily… There are other stuff here, you know!”

“Hello, my beloved cousins. How are you doing?” A familiar, but uncharacteristically quiet, voice said. Bill appeared from out of nowhere. Dipper thought of it as odd, Bill without announcing himself in one loud way or another, but he was too mad at him to be concerned about it.

“You called him out here!?”

“I told him you were upset and he and I knew that you wouldn’t want to see him after what happened, so I didn’t tell you that he’s coming to visit… I’m sorry Dip, but I just want you both to get along.”

Dipper didn’t pay attention to their conversation after that. He didn’t care what Bill had to say. He always did this. He always caused him so much trouble. He always played cruel jokes on him and Mabel. Mabel’s just too nice to hold a grudge, but not Dipper. Dipper CAN hold a grudge. He will, for Mabel and himself. What did they ever do to him to receive such treatment? He didn’t deserve this!

The strawberry pancake Mabel had ordered for him is full of holes from the fork he was poking it with. He didn’t even know he was poking it, until Mabel exclaimed that he was murdering “Ichigo” and that it was crying. He pretended not to hear and started eating mouthfuls of the pancake. He could feel Mabel’s stare, though. They know each other well enough to sense what the other is feeling. He was sure to expect some kind of ‘talk’ or ‘intervention’ from her later.

 

 

 

 

“Hey, Pine Tree…”

As expected from his twin sister, she did do something that she thought would settle things. She locked them both in their bedroom. Normally, she’d just shove any two friends with some kind of problem inside a closet for them to work it out. But now she gave much thought to this. Maybe because Bill was _ _a bit__ claustrophobic. He doesn’t want to be restrained in any way.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’ve gone too far with this joke.”

Dipper didn’t respond. He was finding ways to break out of this. He would jump out of a window…on second thought, he wouldn’t. Their bedroom was high up, getting away from Bill wasn’t worth getting injured.

“Dipper…”

Still no answer. He wasn’t even mumbling to himself.

“Dipper, damn it! Hear me out!”

Dipper turned to him and crossed his arms. “You know, I hate you, Bill. You always do this. Whenever we come to good terms, you always somehow ruin it. You ruin what we have, and now we have to start from scratch, AGAIN!”

Bill opened his mouth, as if to say something. He must have thought it wasn’t a good idea, so he closed it shut.

“It’s hard enough to trust you, with all the things you have previously done. Like that one time you made Mabel think she had telekinesis. She cried when she knew the truth, did you know? Or that time you made all of your cousins think you were dead, or that time you almost gave Dad a heart attack because you dressed as the Grim Reaper to Auntie’s funeral… and many more stuff I wouldn’t mention because they were just embarrassing for me! We love you but, can we ever trust you to not do anything stupid, yet again?”

“I,” he sat on Mabel’s bed, looking tired and defeated. “I am so sorry. I just…want to be noticed really. By you, by Mabel, by my Dad…” he sighed. “By my family really. I just…don’t know how. And this is the only way I know how… I don’t care about the fans. I don’t care about strangers, they are strangers after all…they mean nothing to me,” he looked up at Dipper. “I want you to notice me. For who I really am.”

“Well, you’ve done a crappy job at it.”

Bill chuckled slightly, so did Dipper. Who knew that’s what Bill only wanted. Their attention. No wonder he was showy and loud.

Then Dipper remembered an old memory. It was when they visited Bill’s house for the first time, they were ten years old. Bill was far from what he is now back then. He was a very quiet kid, always reading alone on the porch of their house, while his father worked on his research inside the study room. His mother was always sick, and had to stay inside most of the time. They arrived from London just a month before, and it was Bill’s first time in America. He still had an accent then… A very quiet ten year old, who read his father’s history books, alone. He had no friends. He only had Mabel and Dipper. He only had family. A family that never really paid him enough attention.

All these years, how could he have forgotten about the old Bill? The Bill that he and Mabel were supposed to always be there for? He didn’t even take the time to understand Bill, until now. He felt bad for him. He felt selfish for forgetting…Bill’s voice broke his train of thought.

“I know it would be a long time before you can forgive me…Or you…” he swallowed, and in a shaky voice, continued. “…Might never forgive me. I’m still so, very, sorry. I will make a public statement that it was just a prank, and make the fans stop this madness…just, please, keep talking to me?”

Dipper nodded. He wasn’t angry with him anymore. He would make sure that this kind of incident wouldn’t repeat itself ever again.

“Here,” Bill was holding out something to him. Dipper took it. It was a black box with a white ribbon. He opened the lid and inside was a phone.

“It’s the newest model they have. I know how much you like blue. I could buy you some accessories for it later, like the protective case and stuff, if you want. That’s already connected to a service provider. You can throw out the old phone so that the fans wouldn’t bother you anymore.”

Dipper was at a loss for words. This wasn’t even out until next month…yet here it is.

Bill must have been alarmed by Dipper’s silence that he quickly said, “I could buy you another one if you don’t like it that much!”

“No! No, I like it. Thank you, Bill.”

He smiled. There were little teardrops in his eyes, but he smiled.

Dipper forgives him.

 

 

 

 

“It’s good that you’re hugging it out…” said Mabel. She was leaning on the wall next to the door. The two were so startled that they immediately jumped away from each other.

“Shooting Star?!”

“Mabel, how long have you been standing there?!”

“I heard everything, but I promise I won’t tell anyone that you two are…you know…” she winked.

“ _ _You know,__  what?”

“This is a good ship, right here…”

“Ship, what is a ship?” Bill asked. “Like a huge sea vessel?”

“Oh no, that’s not good…” Dipper slaps both hands to his face, covering it. “That is so not good at all.”

Mabel laughed at Bill’s strawberry-red face as she explained the meaning of a __Ship.__

“But we’re cousins!”

“And yet, Dipper, you’re fine watching Game of Thrones while Cersei and Jamie are doing the __thing__. And they’re brother and sister.”

“But that’s fiction!”

“And so is this.”

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.”

They walked out of the room, Bill was still confused of what they were talking about. The twins decided to have a marathon of Game of Thrones to make him understand. Bill was in charge of the food because Dipper didn’t want Mabel near the kitchen. She might make one of her weird concoctions (like that __Mabel Juice__ ). Plus he’s great at cooking. (“The greatest, next to me!” Mabel exclaimed.) He was in charge of setting up their room and Mabel got the videos ready.

Life is a roller coaster ride, thought Dipper. Just a minute ago he was fuming then the next he’s watching Game of Thrones with Bill and Mabel. But what’s new right?

 

 

 

 

Bill Cipher made an apology posted on Youtube, directed to the fans, and to the __girl__ whose image he used. He also apologized to the conduct of his fans _ _.__  He addressed his fans saying that their conduct is unbecoming and told them to stop disturbing someone’s daily life. He is quite alarmed of their reaction to the prank, so his next movie will be his last. After that, he will no longer renew his contract with the television channel he is in. There is no comment from the company as of the moment of what will happen to two shows, one sci-fi and the other fantasy, the actor has a role in. How will his character be taken out of the plot? Or will they re-cast? Nobody has an idea at the moment. All everyone knows is based on the actor’s words. He is not staying in the show business for long.

 

 

 

 

Bill will continue making content on his Youtube channel though, as Bill Pines. Since he travels a lot, he’s going to make a vlog out of it. And Mabel and Dipper made him play Pokemon Go…so it’s like hitting two birds with one stone. He’s helping people know about certain places, and he gets to hangout with two of his favorite people in the world. But of course, there is school to worry about, so they’d do it on holidays. His father might have a lot of PhDs and he earns tons of money out of his work, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t work hard for his own. That doesn’t mean he should let his brain get dull. He plans to go to school, like a normal kid. He feels sad saying goodbye to his private tutor, but it’s what he’s always wanted: to be normal. That’s what his mom would’ve wanted for him, too.

 

 

 

 

“Ready for your first day of school?”

“I have notes for you to catch up to the lessons…”

“Don’t worry about me, loves, I’m always ready.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jspqnpnitepzfweahzg

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my tumblr! Home for the fandoms: essential-non-essentials.tumblr.com


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